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Acapulco by Photo: #s 7-12

On the afternoon of my first full day in Acapulco, Mandy took me to the Zocolo, which is like the town square where all the "stuff" is happening...vendors, musicians, lots of shade and benches etc., etc. A few things that really caught my attention: 1) more painted trees, except these were absolutely ancient trees, the kind that you know were there when Fransisco Chico sailed into the bay in 1521. They were absolutely stunning, with park benches built around them and massive shady canopies...and white paint slathered all over the trunk. I honestly do not get it. I can't figure out why all the trees have been defaced, except to say that Mexicans must really hate ants. 2) a men's aerobics class that was going full force in a upstairs studio gym right there on the square. It was nothing remarkable, except that the music was really grinding and those guys were really going for the gold, and we (everyone in the Zocolo) were all watching. 3) The OXXO...again, nothing remarkable, except to point out that there is a convenience store called OXXO in Mexico like every six feet. And we went in one to get a drink, and Mandy only had 200 pesos to pay with (which is like $20), and they were going to get really mad at her for paying with such a large bill. And you know what? They did, a little. I'm trying to imagine someone at a BP getting all up in my face for paying for a Vitamin Water with a $20 and I'm just not picturing it, but change is a big deal in Acapulco. Without it, you're like a leper.

The Zocolo is also where the Catholic cathedral is, which is why Mandy brought me in the first place. Most of the cathedrals I've been in are completely emptied out in the back half so tourists can walk around a look at the side chapels and such, even while a mass is going on. That wasn't the case with San Felipe's...it was a full church and they were busy busy. Try as I might, I couldn't figure out what part of the mass it was, the priest was just going on and on (which could've been the homily, or could've been the announcements if it was the priest at my mom's church). I didn't want to skulk around in the back, so we asked the lady in the gift shop (for sale: prayer cards and those votive candles you find in the grocery store) what time mass would be over and left having no idea what she said, but planning on coming back later.

It was at this point that I realized that something was going on with Michael Jackson. Okay, he had died a few weeks before, but either the news was just reaching Mexico or they were having a hard time letting him go. As we walked out of the Zocolo towards some shops to poke around in, I realized every loudspeaker in the near vicinity was blasting a Jacko song. And once we got to said shops, Thriller, Beat It, and Bad were playing on the TVs on a continuous loop. This happened essentially the entire week. It was very surreal. If you want to sum up Acapulco, you could do it like so: "Machine guns, Michael Jackson, and mangoes on a stick." Need I say more?

Eventually we went back to the church, maybe an hour later, and still no dice. Nothing had changed. Either it was the most long-winded priest in the world who was still giving the homily, or mass had started all over again and nobody had bothered to leave. The only thing different was that some people had started to melt. I was starting to melt myself, so I snapped a few pictures from the back of the church and we said goodbye to the Zocolo.

Acapulco by Photo (#s 5 and 6)

I feel like I am losing all direction in my life, everything feels like it's veering in the wrong direction. Strangely, I feel dangerously unaffected by it all. So far. The lack of reaction has not given me much reason to try and deal with anything, which will probably come back to haunt me later, but for now, I'm just going to a happy place...

These two pictures are on Mandy's street. I'm not even sure they're the same building, I can't remember. Maybe they are. Anyway, it is an awesome street with lots of cool buildings like this one (though not all have matching cars). The road goes straight up (and I mean STRAIGHT UP) a mountain, so there is no walking up the street...it just isn't done. Although my word, it would be a fantastic workout...but would end with you dying of over-exertion and heat exhaustion. So it was a cab up every time--more on that later. But walking down is quick and easy, so it was fun to check things out as we strolled down every day...



Here are some things that I took note of on our daily hikes down the mountain:

1. These trees. Mandy thinks they might be ficus, and I think she might be right. Have you ever seen a ficus that wasn't growing in a living room or a bank lobby? Me neither...until now. Note that the trunk is painted white. EVERY TREE IN THE CITY has a trunk painted white. I have heard that it takes care of the ants on the trees, but now I want to know what's going to take care of the fact that this looks so bizarre?

2. Dogs. They are everywhere in Acapulco and most have some sort of severe physical deformity but are still smarter than you or I will ever be. I can tell you one thing, they certainly beat me in navigating the streets without getting run over by a taxicab whose driver may or may not be in the front seat or even the car. My favorite dog was one that had a giant tumor-like thing hanging from its belly in a sack, held on by a long stretch of skin, and it would drag the ground when the dog walked. The poor thing did not appear to care in the least. And when it lay down in the shade, it would just curl it's body around the basket-ball sized growth and snuggle up. I am not even kidding. It gives me great joy to know that Mandy crosses paths with this dog often, unless perhaps the giant growth has hatched and eaten the dog alive. Let's hope not.

3. Dentists. There was a "practice" about halfway down the mountain, and the waiting room was an open-air room on the sidewalk. Okay, this is not all that unusual, but the next time you go to the dentist and you're sitting in the waiting room, think about how you could be squatting on the sidewalk next to a stray dog with a gigantic growth hanging from its belly. I bet then you won't complain that all there is to read is Highlights for Kids.

4. Internet Cafes...lots and lots of internet cafes, where the programming and internet is OMG IN SPANISH! Talk about grossly unhelpful. I was lost the moment we went in. And I may be dreaming this, but I think we had to be let in because the door was locked...I assume to keep the riff-raff out. Except I just kept thinking if the riff-raff can just hide who they are long enough to get in, well, then there's trouble because you are also locked in until they let you out. It's a flawed system but we survived...barely.

5. No trash. And no trash cans either... because of the dogs. But they have thought up a very innovative solution on how to dispose of the trash! This is problem-solving at its finest. Every night around 10 pm, the garbage truck comes rumbling up the mountain, and ahead of it runs a man with a cowbell, ringing it with all his might--not unlike Wee Willy Winkie--to let you know that it's time to take your trash out. And you stop what you're doing, grab your trash, and plop it in the street. Voila! Trash problem solved. Brilliant.

Not-So-Picky Eater

Me: Patrick, what did you guys eat for lunch today?

Patrick: We were out at Uncle Tom's house.

Me: Okay, but what did you eat?

Patrick: Oh, um....rattlesnake.

Picky Eater

Ben: Hey, I love burgers!

Me: No you don't...you never eat your burger.

Ben: Well, I like gummi burgers...

You get all kinds...

This weekend Luke and Patrick went camping/snorkeling with the boy scouts and Ben was feeling bad to be left out of that, so I brought him down to Gigi and Grandpa's for a few days of fun...which happened to be the same few days that my parents were having their much-talked-about garage sale. I'm not sure why this garage sale came to be, all I know is that I've been hearing about it for years and this weekend it finally happened.

I am not a fan of garage sales per se (Here's all our junk! Want to buy it?), but the cash from this one is going to the school down the road that's been underwater for a week, so I suppose that's reason enough to do it. But now I realize that not only do I have disdain for garage sales themselves, but also for the people that hit them up. Here's a sampling of what we got this morning:

35-year-old Loser: Do you have any video games for sale?

Us: No.

35-year-old Loser: My mom needs an outdoor patio table. Do you have one of those?

Us: (looking around, not expecting one to materialize) Nope.

35-year-old Loser: Can I buy this packing material?

Us: No, those are to keep the plates from breaking.

35-year-old Loser: What kind of flowers are those in your garden?

Us: Those aren't for sale.


Or there were the very nicely dressed middle-aged men who came looking for God knows what:

Them: You don't have a whole lot of stuff, do you?

Us: Buddy, you're at a garage sale. This isn't Wal-mart.


Or the people who thought they were actually at Rooms-to-Go:

Them: I like this couch. Do you have another one too?

Us: ???????


But in the end, the sale was a success because they got rid of all the big stuff and made a few hundred for the school. And I'm really glad I was here for it because I am now 100% certain that I will never ever hold a yard sale of my own.