I am strong, invincible, woman, yadda yadda yadda...

I remember back when Luke graduated from the Fire Academy, the chief told all of the families "There will be times when you'll need them at home, and they won't be there for you." And I thought at the time that he was talking about serious things, like tornados and exploding hot-water heaters and things that go bump in the night. But so far it's been more like not being able to find my mixer because he put it away, and needing to go to Wal-Mart for children's tylenol at 11:00 p.m., and most recently--catching lizards...

It all started last week on a day that--of course--Luke wasn't here. I went upstairs to run on the treadmill and was greeted by a little green anole hanging out on the wall. After some inspection, I saw that the window--the only one in the house with no screen on it--was open ever so slightly, just raised about an inch. Well, I figured the little guy (and I know it was a guy because he didn't have that tell-tale stripe running down the length of his body) had just come in, so I opened the window all the way and started running. Ben sat down on the floor and watched him for a little while before losing interest and going back into the playroom. I kept half an eye on him as he wound his way around the wall and eventully disappeared on he other side of the window trim. When I finished running, I checked and he was nowhere to be found. Satisfied that he had gotten back out, I closed the window and went on my merry way.

I've been upstairs running almost every day since then and haven't seen my little friend, until today--a week later, Luke at work again--when I went up and was greeted by the same lizard, in almost the exact same place on the wall, but this time when I checked the window it was closed. I knew it was the same one because a little piece of his tail was missing. I opened the window again and started cleaning the playroom, checking on his progress every once in a while. I got really excited once because he got about four inches from the open window, but then he turned around and went back, and it was at that point that I knew I'd have to intervene. So I spent the next thirty minutes chasing that thing all around the window--which is not really my thing, because even though I really enjoy nature, not so much in my house--until he finally hid behind the bookcase, which I was not about to move. I gave up and figured we'd find his skeleton when we moved and wondered just how bad a four-inch lizard stinks when it starts to decompose.

Then we had two birthday parties to go to today, and one of them was Mary Kate's and we had gotten her a new play-doh set. So of course, when we got home, the boys wanted to play with their play-doh. I got them all set up in the playroom and then looked up and saw the saddest sight in the world. The lizard was sitting on my shutterblinds, staring out the window. If there was ever an animal that had given up hope, this was it. He didn't even bother to look at me when I approached him this time. He just gazed outside. It was pathetic. I felt so bad I knew I had to do something. He wasn't going to die miserable on my watch, and certainly not in my house! So I decided to get down to business with this lizard. First things first--I called all my neighbors to see if there was any kind of man available to come get this thing out of my house. Unfortunately I live amidst a bunch of good Southern Baptists, and being Sunday night, they were all at church. Shoot! Time for the tough to get going. Long story short--there was running, there was squealing, there was a lot of wiggling (by him, not me), but in the end, I got him trapped in a tupperware and took him outside, where he hopped out and ran away, with nary a glance of thanks, the little ingrate!

Ugh--lizards in my house--so not my thing. I'm so glad it's out. Now I just have to wait for the next diaster to strike while Luke's gone, like not being able to get the lid off the pickle jar...