Conversations

The following conversation takes place immediately after Patrick received a new rescue truck for his birthday and then proceeded to expose himself to all the world in Victoria's Secret...

Mommy I want my new rescue truck!!!!

Sorry Patrick, you'll have to wait until you get home. You're lucky you'll get it then , after what you just pulled.

Please!!!! *sob, sob*--I want it!

Stop crying and you can have it when you get home.

*Sniffle* Okay, I stopped crying.

Good.

So can I have it now?

When we get home you can have it.

(Crying again) *Sob, sob* But please can I have it now?!?

Patrick, you may not have it in the car because you need to think about what you just did in the store.

What did I do?

What did you do?

Nothing!!!!

Did you pull your pants down?

Ummm...no.

You didn't pull your pants down in the store?

Nope!

Well, now you're just lying and I'll have to put the rescue truck away when we get home.

Uhhh...oh yeah, I DID pull my pants down. I'm so sorry!

Well, that's why you don't get to have your truck in the car--because you did that.

(Crying again) But PLEASE can I have it now? PLEASE??? I want it!!

Patrick, stop crying and you can have it when you get home!!!! Do you understand that? I don't want to hear another word of it. WHEN. WE. GET. HOME. YOU. CAN. HAVE. IT.

Okay...*sniffle, sniffle*...okay...I stopped crying.

Okay, good.

Can I have it now?

This is the point where, instead of continuing to have this chat, I choose to open the door and throw myself in front of oncoming traffic, effectively ending all talk about the truck. I highly suggest using this tactic next time you find yourself in this kind of conversation with a four-year-old.