Patrick--like all kids his age--says whatever is on his mind. There is no filter to keep the outrageous stuff in his head, it all just comes pouring out. The other day I took him with me to Victoria's Secret to get some jammies with a gift certificate from Christmas, which took a while. So after he passed the time parading around the store modeling black satin bras, we finally headed to the check-out counter, where there was a pretty college-age girl behind us. She obviously didn't have kids, but she tried really hard to be nice when Patrick struck up a conversation with her:
Patrick: Look at this! (pointing to some sort of massage oil or something)
Girl: Yes, what is that?
Patrick: It's SHAMPOO!
Girl: Oh, do you wash your hair with shampoo?
Patrick: Yeah, I wash my hair. My hair doesn't stink anymore. I also wash my butt and my penis. My butt doesn't stink anymore, either.
Girl: Yes, what is that?
Patrick: It's SHAMPOO!
Girl: Oh, do you wash your hair with shampoo?
Patrick: Yeah, I wash my hair. My hair doesn't stink anymore. I also wash my butt and my penis. My butt doesn't stink anymore, either.
The story ends like it always does...as the girl and the salesperson were convulsing in laughter, I grabbed my jammies, quickly apologized and hightailed it out before he could say anything really bad.
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