Hell, thy name is Alabama Hwy. 68

Yesterday Ben and I drove over to Lake Guntersville, AL to see Luke and Patrick, who have been camping with Luke's parents for the past few days. I was not really looking forward to the drive so much, but now that I have made the trek twice in one day, I can safely say that I'd rather have another child--without an epidural--than drive it again. First of all, Luke told me that it was an hour and a half trip...which is probably true if there's been a nuclear fallout and there are no people or pesky traffic signals and stop signs to slow you down. Also, he failed to tell me that it was a two-lane road FOR THE ENTIRE LENGTH OF THE TRIP. I don't do well with two-lane roads. I prefer the good old Eisenhower interstate system, which people driving tractors tend to avoid, and where you can leave those people with their trunks dragging the ground and decals of Our Lady of Guadeloupe on their back windshield in a fine trail of asphalt dust. I tell you, I don't know where people from Alabama all learn to drive, but I know they all go to the same place, and I know that they are probably instructed by some half-wit cross-eyed circus monkey. Yes, that sounds about right...the final driving test definitely includes primal screeching and throwing poop at each other. And if you're from Alabama and you're reading this...I'm sorry, but it turns out you suck at driving too.

Anyway, a little over two hours later when even Ben was attempting to stuff his blanket down his throat in an effort to end it all right there, I seriously considered turning around and going home, just so at least I would not have to drive the last twenty minutes twice in one day. But I did want to see Patrick, so I grudgingly pressed on. As it turns out, we had a very nice day, although after making the harrowing trip home, I'm still too weary to go into detail about all the fun. We did all the normal outdoorsy camping stuff. Here are the pictures...see for yourself and enjoy.

Blogger Spring Break

This past week was the boys' spring break, and since as of late the blog has been about as exciting as watching the paint dry, I took my "Blogger's Spring Break", and thoroughly enjoyed it too. I filled my time the old-fashioned way--with a book. And not the normal chick-lit fluff I normally clog my brain with...nope this time it was real, gritty literature called The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. It's about "Afghanistan in the final days of the monarchy through the horrific invasion of the Taliban." The story itself is fiction, but the events are straight from the history books, and it truly is amazing how little I knew about the place. Afghanistan, even in its glory days, was a completely forgotten country until 9/11 essentially put it back on the map. I don't remember learning anything about it in school. The only world history we ever learned was history that had to do with the western world. I guess now Afghanistan and the rest of the Middle East have become part of that and our children will be studying it. Anyway, I had no idea it was such a modern and cultured place before the conflict began over thirty years ago. What it has become and what we see on the news is all I've ever learned about Afghanistan until now. I'd recommend this book to anyone, but I think Mandy would especially like it.

Anyway, on to the real reason you all read my blog--the kiddies. They have had a fun time together the past few days. Over the weekend, we took them to a friend's pond where the fish are practically trained to bite the line. Patrick was all for it until until he saw the first fish that came up--a catfish--and said he wasn't going to have anything to do with fish that had whiskers. He spent the rest of the time running away when ever anyone got a bite. We did finally get him to pose with one of the bigger ones, but that was it.

Tuesday I took them to a petting zoo which was being showcased by my college's agricultural department. Patrick took a special interest in what was under the cow (yes, Katie--a cow and yes, I thought of you when I snapped the picture), but there were also horses, goats, bunnies and lambs. Ben had the most fun scaring the poor goat to death by screeching and rattling its cage. Ever the good blogger, I patiently snapped pictures instead of removing Ben to spare the poor goat's life...

The rest of the time, we've just been hanging around the house playing outside and watching our favorite shows. It really warms my heart to see the boys playing together the way they do now. They seem to really like each other. Now...how do I make it last???

Happy Spring Break Bloggers!

Pride (In the Name of Love)

I normally prefer to bring a little comic relief into my life by making fun of my family on the blog, but today I have to take a moment to jive. I am unmistakably proud of my husband, who has gone and landed himself a job as a firefighter! And I'm stoked not only because the whole application process is somewhat competitive and he really had to prove himself, both physically and objectively, but also because this is something he has wanted to do for a long time. And I think sometimes when we become adults and have families, it's hard to keep sight of what we really want, and we sometimes forget to chase our dreams. I mean, my dream is to sit here family-free for a year, but doing that at this point in my life would make me sort of a deadbeat prick-type mom, so that'll have to wait...but I digress. Anyway, my point is to say that I'm proud of him for following his dreams, and making the huge effort of going to work every day, followed by school in the evening for twelve hours every week and then coming home to hit the books, and then getting back up the next morning and doing it all over again, without ever complaining.

So here's to Luke, who is my hero and definitely Patrick's hero, and well, Ben just loves his daddy, so he's Ben's hero too. Congrats to you for going after and getting what you want! We love you and we're behind you all the way!!

Flashback: A Dog Grows Up

From bundle of yellow fur...

To bundle of complete neurosis...

Yesterday I sat on the patio watching Savannah and wondering how it had all come to this. She spent much of the afternoon licking the cement and fighting with her shadow, stopping only to wrinkle her forehead in puzzlement when it disappeared. When she caught sight of the light reflected on the side of the house by my camera lens, it was all over. She canceled all other appointments in order to spend the rest of the afternoon with her nose pressed to the siding, waiting with unabashed anticipation for something, anything to happen. Honestly, she used to be so cute and sweet. I don't know at what point exactly that she lost her marbles, but I think it was around the time when we used to torture her by shooting laser pointers all over the house for cheap entertainment. My apologies, girl.

For Katie...

...who always likes new ideas for preschool crafts. Patrick brought this home today and I thought it was a trip. And by trip, I mean look at this dude's face...that's not just any old grass he's growing...

Yes, preschool can be an enlightening experience kids. You can really come out of it with an altered state of mind, if you know what I mean. Haha! I kid of course--I'm not implicating Mrs. Cindy of anything (although with eleven boys in her class, I wouldn't begrudge her a little "medicinal" help to get through the day). She's a great teacher and I thought this project was adorable. As she pointed out to me, you can cut his hair when it gets too long. I just hope I remember to water him.

Post from the Clearance Bin

We went for a walk around the lake last night, which is always an adventure of some sort. Patrick was feeling hammy, it seems. He started out by doing his best wind-up doll impersonation. All he needed was yellow braided pigtails, a dainty frock and two red circles on each cheek and he'd be shelf-ready.

The lake trail is about mile long, give or take a half-mile (that is, I have no idea how long it is, except I know it's too long for a four-year-old, but we're mean parents and we don't care). He always starts out walking, but last night he needed to "take a rest" realllly soon. Don't ask me what's up with the face...he's not my kid. He looks like an old man who's coon dog just let one rip.

Speaking of smells, this was one of the best shots I could get in front of this Bradford Pear. The poor kid pleaded with me: "Mommy let's go, it smells like pee-pee." Well, yes it does...in fact, it smells like something a lot worse, but let's not go there. Just smile so I can take the picture.

A good son smiles through his suffering.

Meet Dylan

This weekend, some friends of Luke's family were in town from Kentucky, and Patrick got to meet his newest buddy, Dylan. Patrick's Pa and Dylan's grandpa have been best friends since childhood, and they each had two sons who grew up hanging out a lot...so naturally, they were very excited about getting a third generation together for some manly fun. The boys did not disappoint. They bonded over Dylan's toys from the movie Cars, which Patrick has never seen but apparently still loves. He's such a people-pleaser.

Dylan's 3rd birthday was just a few days ago, so of course that meant an impromptu birthday party. This is where I came to really like him; see him disdainfully eyeing the cake? He is a kid after my own chocolate-loving heart. Get this--the boy refuses to eat any sweets other than chocolate chip cookies. How great is this? How can I get my own kids to see this point of view? I don't know why it appeals to me so much, but I love it.

Anyway...while Dylan munched on his cookies, everyone else chowed down on cake, and then he opened presents, which mainly consisted of 1) Cars merchandise and 2) Cars merchandise. Oh all right, there was a little Thomas thrown in for good measure. But the boys had a good time playing with it until it was time to leave, at which point Patrick became insanely jealous and decided that if Dylan was going to be able to keep all the good stuff while he left empty-handed, then maybe he didn't like him so much after all. Tough break, kid...it's only nine months till Christmas.

Happy St. Patrick's Day 2007!

Wilson the Imp

Wilson would like for you to think his life is tough...I mean, look at the pathetic expression, the Yoda ears, and for all we know he's hiding mutant paws behind that outdoor fireplace! But don't be fooled by his take on gansta rap, people. This dog hasn't been street-wise in a loooong time. He's got the good life like few other dogs have ever known! So he had to sit in the rain for five minutes today while I tended to the human subjects he's forced to share a house with...we can pity him now, but at 11:00 tonight--trust me--he'll be warm and cozy on my pillow, dreaming about three-legged squirrels and milk bones...

Ben celebrates his 16-month birthday

Another warm day yesterday, so we all headed outside to get really dirty and put more holes in the knees of our pants. Ah, well...what's a mom of two boys to do? It's best to just not fight it and let them become one with the earth. So instead I lounged in the hammock and got some cute shots...

And then it happened...

There are no words to describe the moment, so I'll let the pictures do the talking.

Everyone else is doing it...

The Firstborn Survey (with the second-born thrown in for good measure):

1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED?
no
yes

2. WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME?
yes to both

3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS?
went and got my childhood teddy bear and cried in bed since Luke was in the New Mexico wilderness for two weeks with no way of contacting him
said "huh", woke up Luke to tell him and then went back to sleep

4. WAS ABORTION AN OPTION FOR YOU?
That is a disgusting question

5. HOW OLD WERE YOU?
25
28

6. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT?
home test, both times

7. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST?
Mandy (see #3)
Luke (see #3 again)

8. DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX?
yes, I had just painted the extra room light blue and I wanted to know if I would be re-painting
yes again, for no reason this time

9. DUE DATE?
March 2, 2003
November 7, 2005

10. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS?
yes, both times

11. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE?
strawberries and milk
peace and quiet

12. WHO IRRITATED YOU THE MOST?
living people
my firstborn

13. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING?
I hoped for a girl with both, until I found out, then it was like "oh well!"

14. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY?
20
25

15. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER?
yes--many
no ( I feel like this is the wrong answer, but I can't remember having one)

16. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW?
I knew about them all.

18. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNANCY?
no, neither time

19. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH?
Floyd Medical Center both times. Great L & D staff...they made me feel like I was the first and only person to ever have a baby. The first time, Luke's uncle Tom was a floor below me giving birth to a kidney stone.

19. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR?
36
less than 6

20. WHO DROVE YOU THE THE HOSPITAL?
Luke--it was a leisurely drive. We stopped at CVS for film and stuff.
Luke--a little more manic this time. I dared him to run a red light with the traffic camera on it.

21. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH?
Luke, both times.

22. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION?
natural, both times.

23. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN?
Why would I NOT? They weren't offering award money for those who do it without...

24. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH??
8 lbs. 6.5 oz.
9 lbs. 4.6 oz.

25. DID YOUR CHILD HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS??
Patrick had his cord wrapped around his neck, but it turned it to be no big deal.
Ben came out and his face was this color, but they didn't seem too concerned, so I guess not.

26. WHAT DAY WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN ON?
March 4, 2003
November 13, 2005

27. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER?
John Patrick
Benjamin Paxton

28. HOW OLD IS YOUR FIRST BORN TODAY?
Just turned 4
16 months tomorrow (and still not walking)

OK mommies repost this as "MY FIRST BORN" :)

Ben , Ben and more Ben...

Gorgeous weather lately, huh? Patrick was with his Ma and Pa today, but the rest of us headed outside to do a bit of yard work that hadn't been done yet. Ben was cute as can be, exploring everything he could get his hands on...even the dogs seemed to be different outside. I wish we could all experience our minor daily happenings with the innocence and exuberance of a toddler...

Uh, remember when I said that Ben was--and I quote--"days from walking"? Well, I'd like to eat those words now--hold the salt--with a side of ranch dressing, please. I feel like a complete nimrod for ever letting those words leave my mouth. All I'm going to say is, please note the gaping holes in the knees of his jeans--and remember, these are the good pair. The only good thing about those holes is that they give me permission to toss the jeans in the garbage when I'm done with them. As opposed to all the other baby clothes I own, which are carefully stored away in an effort to trick fate until my childbearing years are over. Because we all know the fastest way to get pregnant is to get rid of all your stuff.

Flashback: A Day in Maine

Mandy and I took an impromptu day trip to the coast of Maine a few years back, and all I can say is: Maine rocks. I could definitely do summers there. Winters...not so much. It was a great day though, as I'm sure Mandy can attest to. Browsing through my pictures, I am always happy to look back at the ones from that day, so I thought I'd throw it on up for my flashback today...with a little something extra. ;)

Leave it to the blog...

...to take something like me arguing with my kid about a truck and turning it into a morality issue. Let's move on. Here's a boring picture of my kids sharing some yogurt at dinner. Please, let's all try to keep our minds from straying into the gutter...

Conversations

The following conversation takes place immediately after Patrick received a new rescue truck for his birthday and then proceeded to expose himself to all the world in Victoria's Secret...

Mommy I want my new rescue truck!!!!

Sorry Patrick, you'll have to wait until you get home. You're lucky you'll get it then , after what you just pulled.

Please!!!! *sob, sob*--I want it!

Stop crying and you can have it when you get home.

*Sniffle* Okay, I stopped crying.

Good.

So can I have it now?

When we get home you can have it.

(Crying again) *Sob, sob* But please can I have it now?!?

Patrick, you may not have it in the car because you need to think about what you just did in the store.

What did I do?

What did you do?

Nothing!!!!

Did you pull your pants down?

Ummm...no.

You didn't pull your pants down in the store?

Nope!

Well, now you're just lying and I'll have to put the rescue truck away when we get home.

Uhhh...oh yeah, I DID pull my pants down. I'm so sorry!

Well, that's why you don't get to have your truck in the car--because you did that.

(Crying again) But PLEASE can I have it now? PLEASE??? I want it!!

Patrick, stop crying and you can have it when you get home!!!! Do you understand that? I don't want to hear another word of it. WHEN. WE. GET. HOME. YOU. CAN. HAVE. IT.

Okay...*sniffle, sniffle*...okay...I stopped crying.

Okay, good.

Can I have it now?

This is the point where, instead of continuing to have this chat, I choose to open the door and throw myself in front of oncoming traffic, effectively ending all talk about the truck. I highly suggest using this tactic next time you find yourself in this kind of conversation with a four-year-old.

The birthday weekend...

I need a bumper sticker that says "I Survived Patrick's 4th Birthday Party". Haha! In all seriousness, it wasn't that bad. The sun could've r.s.v.p.-ed to let me know that it wouldn't be making an appearance, but the kids had fun and nobody went home with a violent stomach virus like at his last birthday party, so that was good.

The party got kicked off with playtime in the backyard. Katie brought the jumpoline, which was a big hit, and then the "hired" entertainment--aka the fire truck--showed up. They kicked things off with a really weak rendition of Happy Birthday to Patrick. Then all the kids got to sit in the cab and one of the men showed us how they put on their turnout gear, which scared the living daylights out of my poor son when he got to the face mask. But he recovered fairly quickly, which was good because at that point the firemen got bored with all the rugrats and faked a call to hightail it outta there!!! Ahh, well, who cares? The kids enjoyed watching them leave.

After that we went inside for lunch, which went without too many disasters, but things started to get a little hairy during present time. I'm not sure what happened, but I got a little overwhelmed and somehow ended up with men's underwear on my head. Check out Trevor's face as he gives fair warning to all the other kids. I snapped back to reality in time to sugar the kids up with birthday cake and the send them back outside.

After the birthday, while Joe and Patrick searched the house (quite successfully) for any spare pieces of sugar to ingest, Katie, Andrea and Mandy stayed on for a little ping-pong round robin tourney. That's when we found out that Katie was freakin' Forrest Gump in another life. Not even Luke could match her mad ping-pong skills. She beat every last one of us to a pulp, and I daresay she enjoyed doing it...

This morning, on Patrick's real birthday, we went to the Palladium to eat lunch after church. We had saved a few more presents for him to open today, so he tore right into them as soon as we sat down. Luke and I gave him a rescue helicopter to finish out his extensive emergency vehicle collection. Now all we have to do is build the addition to the house to store them all. His most coveted present though, was a pack of Big Red. He's been dying for this stuff and we said he could have it when he turned four. You could see the anticipation in his eyes as he unwrapped that first piece, followed by shock as he promptly spit it out, screaming "HOT!" and diving for his juice. Well, I'm glad we got that out of our system.

Flashback with Sentiment

Almost four years ago, on March 4, 2003, I became "Mommy". Today was actually my due date, but I didn't start having contractions until the 3rd. If the doctors had listened to me, I would have had him on the 3rd, but you know how doctors are...yadda yadda yadda--I was forced to wait the night in the hospital. Finally, on the 4th, they realized that I was never going to have this baby without a little help (I think Patrick would still be on the inside if we had allowed labor to take its natural course), so we induced, shot me up with some drugs and had a relatively easy time after that. Three pushes and I was a parent.

I will never forget the first time I saw Patrick. It was comical and emotional at the same time. The doctor lifted him up and for some reason it surprised me--like he had actually pulled him out from underneath the bed and said "Tah-Dah!!!!" But a split-second later it all came together in my mind and I burst into tears. The greatest part was when I first held him. He had been screaming bloody murder and the second I spoke, he quieted and turned his head towards me. It was like he had known me for so long, why did I not know him as well? That was our first bonding moment, and it must've been a strong one, because we had a great time after that. He was such a good baby for me.

I think back to those first few months--and even though I hated the nighttime feedings and it seemed like I could never really get him to eat well, so I was completely lopsided for four months--I recall it as pure bliss. I remember creeping in his room at night and my eyes welling up as I watched him sleep. We spent all those beautiful spring days together, taking walks and sitting on the swing throwing the ball to the dogs. It was hard--because all babies are--but he made me so happy. I love you Patrick. You are my firstborn son and you mean the world to me. And even though you are a complete rascal, I am so proud of the little boy you've become. Happy 4th Birthday!!!

The dogs in my life...

First off is my arch-nemesis, Savannah. Ever since Luke brought her home seven years ago, she's been trying to drive a wedge between us. I gotta give her props for persistence, though--she's watched us get married and have a small litter together and she still won't give up. She lives for the nights, I tell ya...she waits until I've fallen asleep, then stealthily crawls up onto our bed and snuggles with her one true love. I know her end game is to push me off the bed one night. Look at her...you can see the hatred in her eyes...

Then there's Lenny. I thought Lenny and I had a good thing going, but apparently it was just a one-afternoon stand. Since seeking comfort in my loving embrace, he has blatantly hit on at least two other women, right in front of my eyes. Watch out Emma and Ella (and all you other gals out there)...don't be fooled by his wily charms. He will love you and leave you and he won't look back.

And that brings me to a real man of a dog...my boy Wilson. Mandy and I found Wilson as a down-on-his-luck puppy, and he's had it hard ever since. From having to endure being called "Wee-wee" by Luke to being scolded by me for shedding his black hair all over the place or throwing up on my carpet more times than I can count, Wilson's always managed to keep his chin up. He can swim (unlike another lab that shall remain unnamed--oh who cares--it's Savannah!!! haha!!), he knows his place in this house, he sleeps on the dog bed, and he isn't afraid to roll up his fur and get dirty. He always wags his tail when he sees me, he gives me those cute doggy smiles and sometimes he comes up and puts his paw on my knee, just because.

You're my kinda dog, Wilson! Forget those other two. One of these days we're going to bust out of here and see the world together. First stop--Huntington Dog Beach, sunny California!!!

Trial and Error

Jenny and I had planned to meet at the park last night, and since it was so nice, she graciously packed a yummy dinner of chicken B-B-Q, baked beans and corn on the cob. Dinner was sooooo good, but we definitely learned a few things about picnicking with preschoolers in the meantime. First of all, if you decide to do it, take a xanax first, and then only take girls. Patrick started things off by spilling the sweet tea all over our blanket, and Ben kept things interesting by systematically planting his butt on everyone's dinner plate, one by one. Jenny and I made an unspoken pact in the beginning to just not care, so with a blind eye turned towards the boys, we had a great time.

After dinner the kids played their little hearts out. Mary Kate and Patrick managed to stay relatively clean, but Ben was such a filthy mess that I had to strip him before I put him in the car. He has put holes in the knees of all his pants this winter and now that spring is coming and he's still not walking, I guess he'll be getting those knees pretty muddy too. Too bad, I could've saved those clothes for a possible baby #3, but I guess I'll just have to throw it all away and pass on the baby! ;)

The rest of the weekend

After our date with Katie on Friday, I left the kiddies with my parents and went back home so Luke and I could go to my school's annual auction together. It's always a great (and somewhat wild) night, and this year was no different. The theme was A Night Among the Stars, so we were greeted by entertainment royalty as we walked the red carpet.

I tried to get cozy with one of the night's most popular guests, Captain Jack Sparrow, but he only had eyes for Princess Leia. *sigh* She gets them every time in that gold bikini. Why can't I have a drunk pirate???

The next morning, we headed back down to my parents' house and had an early birthday lunch for Patrick, who turns four next week (!!!!!). He got some cool stuff, including fire truck jammies and camouflage flip-flops. My son WILL wear flip-flops--even if they have to be camo to get him to do it!!!!

It was such a beautiful day that we headed down to the park to play. Patrick had a blast, except that he insisted on wearing his sandals and had to keep stopping to get mulch out of them. Thanks again for those sandals Katie--I can tell I'm going to just love them!!! ;)

Ben came down after his nap to play some. He had come with my parents while Patrick and I were at Katie's house and had a ball, but we weren't so lucky this time. Notice the scowl on his face. Then the unthinkable happened--Luke offered to hold his graham cracker for him. It was just too much for Ben. He laid down right there and howled and howled and howled...thus ending our trip to the park.

Joe!

Patrick and I went to see Katie and Joe yesterday afternoon. It was fun times as always! The boys played together really nicely, aside from eating a whole tube of toothpaste together while Katie and I lounged blissfully in the sunshine. Don't judge, it was really warm out and we were talking Idol.

They got really into playing doctor for a minute there...you can see Dr. Joe, head of the medical staff, struggling to diagnose what in the world is wrong with Katie. Finally, he brings in a psych consult from Dr. Patrick and the two of them get to work on her right away, taking every test imaginable--while Katie, ever diligent, keeps on taking snapshots for posterity. The final diagnosis--Blogitis. Joe kicks back in the M.D.'s lounge with some animal crackers and a Capri Sun and congratulates himself on a job well done.

Patrick took his reward in a slightly less manly way. He locked in on an old pair of Joe's sandals, which Katie was then forced to give to him to satisfy his obsession, causing him to go completely ballistic with glee. Patrick has a weird thing about sandals--he is like Carrie Bradshaw's long-lost twin. I can't explain it, I only hope he outgrows it. But for now, he's crazy about them, so thanks for Joe's hand-me-downs, Katie--you made Fat-pick's day!!! We had a great time with y'all--see you soon!

Bright Sunshiney Day

Today's weather was a breath of fresh air...warm fresh air, that is! Luke was home this afternoon when I got home from work, so we put Ben down to nap and made tracks for the great outdoors. Well, at least as far as the street outside our house. Patrick got a bike-riding lesson, a pick-up game of b-ball and batting practice with Luke; I got a head start on weeding the garden while re-hashing Idol with Katie. After that, we went up to our neighbor's house and Patrick held court with--count 'em--three girls after wooing them with popsicles...such a ladies' man!!!!
I have to say, I love these kind of days. When you wake up in the morning and the air feels cool and fresh and the first thing you think is NOT "When is the heat coming on already????"...that's a good feeling. I am very pleased with the groundhog this year...well done, little buddy!

Play hard, sleep hard.

Profile Shot

Name: Ben
Nickname: Benjamin Button
Age: Old enough to be walking
Astrological Sign: Scorpio
Zodiac Year: Year of the Rooster (which explains all the early rising)
Interests: emptying the kitchen cabinets, pulling books off shelves, climbing on end tables
Favorite Movie: Baby Neptune, Baby Shakespeare, and Throw Momma from the Train
Favorite Music: I jam to Rock my Soul and Supercalifragulisticexpialidocious
Favorite Book: Cardboard ones that can be easily digested
Industry: Poop-making
Occupation: CEO of Poops-R-Us

Race Day

What could be more exciting than watching a bunch of tricked-out cars drive in a circle 200 times, with nothing whatsoever to distract you from the monotony except a group of redneck commentators that use phrases like "If you're gonna do a gas-n-go..."? How about watching it with a three-year-old? Today is like Christmas in the racing world; it's the Daytona 500, and so I know what sound my TV will be making over and over again for the next four hours: vvvVVVRRROOOOOMMmmm..........
Yes, I'm beyond thrilled.

I was actually unlucky enough (when Luke and I were just engaged and I would still do a lot to impress him) to go to the Daytona 500, and I've never been more inclined in my life to take a gun to my head and end it all right there. My God, the repetitiveness of it all, it's completely maddening!!! I admit, the first lap when they really start driving fast is somewhat exciting, because the engines get really loud and it is really fast, but that gets old about...oh, three laps later. So then you're stuck for 197 more laps watching them go around and around, the same thing over and over...and it's so loud you can't hear yourself think, and you can't talk to anyone because none of them speak actual English, but instead some sub-form of the language--it's actually great preparation for having a preschooler in the house, now that I think about it.

Flashback: By Request

Back by popular demand...rarely seen pics of the infamous eighth grade class of '91. This time we have our end-of-the-year trip to Orlando, where the future bloggers took on Epcot and Universal Studios. This is a picture of me in front of the Nickelodean slime machine with our tour guide, Wayne or something. As 13-year-old girls, we thought he was ALL THAT because he was a struggling actor and had some bit part in Ghostbusters. Yes, we were losers in a major way, that much is clear. To highlight this fact, let me just point out that I am wearing sand dollar earrings, and I thought they were the bomb. Anyway, our infatuation with Wayne (or whatever) was unrequited because I never found him in Ghostbusters and I've certainly never seen him in anything else since. Poor Wayne.

I'm behind the camera in the next pic, but I managed to dig out one of Katie to share with all of cyberspace. She has no sea creatures dangling from her ears, but she is wearing her jammies and a fanny pack, so I think an equal amount of ridicule is in order here!!! Left to right is Katie, Cindy Fernandez, Diana Garicia (our resident Latina bombshell) and Jacqueline Horlbeck (who looks like a major sourpuss in this pic, but she was one of those girls that you wish you'd kept in touch with because you know she turned out super-cool).

And I know you can't see it, but you can be sure that every one of the girls on that trip was wearing really thick scrunchy socks and white Keds. In fact, I think I have a picture to prove it, but that's for another day.

Happy Valentine's Day

Today we went to Patrick's preschool Valentine's party. It was an awesome party, if only for the fact that I had nothing to do with it except to send in juice boxes. They started out by doing circle time, which I guess Mrs. Cindy is really proud of, but this time Patrick happily participated, so I was glad to see it again. Then they played "Musical Hearts", and the mom that put that together must've had a flat-out genius for a child, because none of the other kids got it. After three rounds (singing Jesus Loves Me, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, and Life is a Highway), they were all still perfectly happy to stand three to a heart so no one would get left out. Kudos to Mrs. Cindy on the sharing pep talks, nice try to the room mom, but no dice!

Here's Patrick eating his heart-shaped sandwich. His shirt says "Hunk of Burning Love". Oh yeah, baby! Ben commanded a whole table to himself to eat lunch, so we'll see how he does when he gets to the 3's class...

Us mommies got another little gift--lets hope I can hang onto this one a little longer; I only had the Altoids tin for about two days before Patrick gave it to Luke's Grandma*sniff*--they took the kids' glamour shots and put them in cute little frames for us:

Awwwwwww, yeah baby...eat your heart out Lenny, there's a new ladies man in town! Old Blue Eyes himself can't even compare. I never knew Patrick had it in him to be so debonnaire. Maybe it's time to get rid of all the camo and restock the closet with zoot suits...

Raindrops keep falling on our heads...

As promised, today has turned out to be not-so-nice weather-wise. It's not cold yet, but the rain has set in and it is dreary, dreary, dreary. A great day to turn the kids loose to their respective preschools and head to work! Not a great day for the pups, unfortunately...

Don't let their sad mugs fool you. They have plenty of dry space to take cover under, so it's not my fault that they're soaked to the bone when I get home. Besides, they ought to love this opportunity...they can milk it for all it's worth when Luke gets home. Yep, I guarantee that tonight while I'm watching Idol, they'll be camped out on my bed with him, probably with their heads on my pillow, dreaming of car rides and milk bones and French poodles. I tell ya, it's five against one in this house...

Get Red-Nekkid

It was a WARM afternoon! I always try to enjoy these winter escapes, but I can only enjoy it so much knowing that it will be cold again in a day. Patrick made the most of it, though...why is it that kids' favorite outfits are their birthday suits???

Yep, there's my good old boy, having a good old time, shirtless in the February sun. He calls it "wearing his belly". The look is topped off quite nicely by camo pants and undies that say "Slugger" on the waistband.

A Battle of Epic Proportions

Friday, after Ben woke up with yet another disastrous head of hair, I decided it was time to take drastic measures against permanent bedhead. For crying out loud, Patrick was six months old when he got his first haircut at a barber shop; here Ben is--fifteen months old this week--and he has yet to have more than a few stray hairs snipped off now and then. Since Ben is notoriously bad about haircuts, I decided to spare myself the headache of taking him to the barber shop and tackled the job myself. And oh what a job it was! It was not unlike trying to cut a wild grizzly bear's hair, with much wailing and gnashing of teeth. The battled continued for over an hour, tensions ran high, tempers flared, but alas I forced him into a quiet submission, with him bending over the front of his high-chair and moaning a repeating, babbling mantra. This worked out well for the both of us, since it served to calm his weary soul, and I still had the back to cut, which is the hardest part when he's thrashing around. In the end, I was rather pleased with the job that I did, and learned a lot doing it. I only remembered after I cut the front that he has a funny hairline and will always have to have bangs, but they'll grow back in a month or so, and then I'll remember not to trim the top so close anymore. Either way, I've given him a nice, short, even haircut--rather than the moppy mess he was sporting before--which will grow back nicely and allow me to keep tabs on it from now on. Without further ado, I present to you, little Ben, all shaven and shorn:

Since I was on a roll, I decided to trim up Patrick's hair, too. So I sat him down after lunch and went to work. I looked up a few minutes later to see Ben walking from one side of the kitchen to the other, no hands! Of course I messed up and made a big deal over it, causing him to realize what he was doing and drop to his knees immediately. He has yet to repeat this move, but hey, at least he's trying it out.

Fixed!

WHEW! That was a close one! Where would my life be without blogging? I'd have to fill my time doing something wholesome, like reading novels or volunteering...or actually playing with my children...

Anyway, Ben woke up yesterday with a dire case of bedhead, but he was all kinds of snuggly, so it was cute. Here are some shots:

Flashback returns next week! I promise it'll be good!

Blogger's block and other woes...

Not that I've even remotely had anything to blog about recently, but now my USB cord seems to be kaput. You guys better pray that's all it is, because if I need a new digital camera...well, that'll be the end of "Forever in Flip-Flops" as we know it...

I suppose I'll still be back tomorrow to scan in this week's pick for Flashback Friday.

Pooh.

Spoons are overrated.

Super Bore Weekend

While Mandy was visiting Phlegm City this weekend, I was stuck in a fun little place called H&R Block Hell. Last year, I e-filed with them online without a hitch, but this year, there seem to be hitches--er, glitches--all over the system. I was stuck on the internet fooling with that thing all weekend and well, to make a long story short, their tech team is working on my case and I'll hear back in 48-72 hours. Yeah, right...grrr.

So needless, to say, there wasn't much time for blogging, but Katie called and threatened a citation if I didn't get on the ball, so here we go. Besides desperately trying to find a live human being who works at TaxCut, I also stupidly decided to upgrade my Norton Internet Security, which also turned out to have a glitch. But with the help of Abdul, who may or may not have been a cyborg posing as a customer service rep, this problem was fixed relatively quickly--and when I say quickly, I mean in under three hours.

While I wrestled with the evils of cyberspace, the rest of my family settled in to watch twenty-four hours straight of Super Bowl coverage. Ben was happy as long as he got to hold the remote, and Patrick thought Prince's halftime show was so hot he had to go put on his turnout gear.

Savannah was mad when she found out the Bengals weren't playing, especially after she took the time to paint her body in support. She refused to watch the game and wouldn't even look at me for the picture. Wilson, on the other hand, totally took advantage of me being tethered to the computer and stole my People magazine to curl up and fall asleep with. Traitor.

All in all, it was a terrible weekend, and I will reiterate what I have been saying all along: everything gets better when Spring comes along. That groundhog better thank his lucky stars.

Flashback: Then and Now

Another week has gone by since last week's flashback and still the weather is frigid, only now instead of being sunny and cold (tolerable), it's dreary and cold (insufferable). What is going on already? I will not listen to cop-outs like "it's February"--that is a lame excuse in my opinion. Christmas is over, it's time for spring. Period.

And so we're back to dreaming of warm days...really warm days back when life was all innocence. Well, almost all innocence, save for the itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny green piece of spandex that's stretched over my tush. Geez, I'm showing more skin here than a Vegas showgirl! Well, if you've got it, flaunt it--and I had it! SNAP!

This is David and me, spending one of our long three-month summer vacations at the Connecticut shore. Those were the days. See the jetty going out into the water behind us? When the tide went out, that thing would be a good four or five feet above the water and we would run out and jump into the ocean with wild abandon. We didn't care about what was lurking below and our parents didn't worry about us either...the world was a safe place then, even the sharks were friendly! We would swim out to the sandbar, which was quite a distance from the shore, and play quite happily, never worrying what was going to come along a take a nibble. That beach was covered up with jellyfish, but who cared? We swam with them anyway. And when we were done swimming with them, we'd catch them in buckets and hack them to pieces with our shovels. If there are significantly less jellyfish in the world today, it's because of the vigilant efforts of me, David and our group of beach buddies. You're welcome.

Yes, things were different back then...or at least I remember them differently. The memories that I have of playing on the beach will NOT become a reality for my kids. There will be no swimming out to the sandbar or jumping off ledges into the depths unknown. Not that my mom made bad choices, but as I said, things were different then. For pete's sake, Patrick has yet to spend a summer at the beach where a shark has not come mere inches from his body!!! But there's always the possibility that I'm remembering this wrong, that the sandbar was actually 10 feet from the shore and that I was only allowed to jump into my mother's waiting arms--in which case I'm sure she'll set the story straight. But don't set me too straight...I like the memories.

It's called art, people!

Patrick is once again changing the world through the power of his photography. This time it is fairly obvious that his art has matured, with his focus being on simplicity. He found his muse in the computer armoire in our bedroom. Note the emphasis on repetition and skilled display of clean lines. His creative vision boggles the mind.

This one is entitled simply Self Portrait. Notice how he has shunned the mainstream idea of a self portrait and only included the lower half of his face. It's artistic genius!